Guns

“Shit,” I thought to myself. The whole week I had been running a high fever, and I felt dizzy whenever I moved. I lay in my bed, and the small room seemed to be turning all around me.
There weren’t many situations in my life where I could say that I was afraid; but this was one of them.
My uncle was looking for me. Although we were both mercenaries and had killed many people together, he now had a good excuse to get rid of me and take my mother’s estate for himself.
He was sly. Only people like him could live for so long in a place like this. I had heard from a good friend of his that he liked to share drinks with the people that he was hired to kill. First, he would show up without a gun and pretend to be there on good terms. When he saw that he had gained their trust, he would smile and walk out of the bar with them, with his hand rested on their shoulder, and talking about how much better the world would be without any violence. As they made their way back, my uncle would snap a small pistol that he had strapped to his ankle and shoot them in the back.
He was tricky, but I had worked with him for too long. I knew his tricks, and I was just as determined to live.
As I lay coughing in my bed, some kind of commotion had come up near the entrance of the house.
My uncle had come, and he demanded to see me. At first, he came in with that friendly attitude of his, but quickly lost his temper when my mother and a couple of maids refused to allow him in. I could hear the sound of chairs crashing against walls and tables being turned over. The door to my room swung open, and I saw as my uncle pushed my mother to the ground.
He was drunk and I was sick - at least this made us even.
“Miho, how have you been?” he said, as he wiped his mouth and smiled. “My little nephew is sick, and I’ve come to give him a hug and talk to him, but the people in his house don‘t let me. If it has come to this, where my own family doesn’t trust me; then we might as well all be going to hell.”
He came near, and as he drew his arms around my shoulders, I felt a sharp pain go through my back. It was slow, and I could feel it tear away through the flesh. Somehow, he had brought in a knife and I hadn't been able to see it. It was too late for me. I shouldn’t have let him get so close.
“I would have let you live, even though I know what kind of person you are. But not this. My mother’s the only thing I have left,” and I shot him through the bed sheets with the gun I had hidden. His eyes became wide, and his face twisted into a wild figure of surprise. He reeled over, and fell to the ground. Soon, he stopped moving altogether. He didn’t cry, or yell out for anyone like most people did.
There we lay, the two most feared murderers in Mexico. It was over, I thought to myself, and a sense of peace took over the fragments of chaos that lay scattered through my mind.

Beginning of January

This is my first journal for the year. If you are looking for something exciting to read, then you should stop reading here.
The weather recently has been very pleasant. The sky is completely clear, and it has been a little warm. There is a gentle breeze that blows. The sunlight is pouring into the old coffee house, onto the line of stacked books.
Yesterday I had lunch with Yuki, Karina, and Soichiro. It was kind of a random, but pleasant experience. I was going to watch a movie with Karina, and then we started talking about all of the other students who’ve had a lot of free time, so we called Esse first, but he was busy cooking Gyoza. Karina called Yuki, and he suggested that we all eat Sushi, so we decided to go there instead. The sushi was all really good, but the harumaki was strange. I also picked up a couple of books. Some were Bleach comics, and there was also some books written by Murakami. I think that the only thing that I remember most from tonight is that Karina likes Unagi best, and that Asuka’s favorite is Hamachi. I’ve gone to eat sushi with Yuki and Taka many times before, but I can’t remember which sushi they like. They’ve even told me without me asking them.
Ever since Yuki and Taka took me to Oton, the izakaya in Kearny Mesa, I’ve been able to eat anything. But that night was strange, because I decided to simply give up any discrimination that I had for strange-looking food. There was plenty of beer too. I stuffed the food into my mouth, and didn’t ask questions about the food. I remember though, that there was one dish that had chicken skin on sticks. I stuffed it into my mouth, and the texture was so strange that I couldn’t help but feel like everything was going to come out of my stomach.
I’ve found that there is a couple of ways to politely deal with these situations. You don’t want to throw up in front of your friends, and especially not in front of the Chef, right? So what I do is I take out a napkin, and pretend to clean my mouth, without making any expressions of disgust. At this moment, I’m usually dying inside. I take the napkin, and I set it to the side, crumpling it.
The other technique is a little more desperate. If I’m full, and then I eat something that I know I won’t down, I politely try to bow in front of everyone and excuse myself to go to the bathroom. Of course, I can’t open my mouth until I reach the toilet. In any case, the most important thing is to try everything at least once, and if you do fail, then fail with style.
I haven’t read much of Murakami before, but I bought Norwegian Wood the other day, and have really enjoyed reading it. This has got me into listening to the Beatles. So far, I have about five of their albums on my computer. I’ve tried playing a couple of their songs, but I don’t have a musician’s hands, so it’s difficult.
I’ve also been reading about Roman civilization, such as how they went from being a Republic to an Empire, and about Cleopatra’s relations to Julius Caesar and Marc Anthony. There’s a Mexican singer that’s also named Marc Anthony, so I tend to get both of these confused. There are so many parallels between Roman and American civilizations. Later on, if you keep studying American history, you will learn that the American constitution was inspired by the Roman constitution.
My good friend BK went back to Korea last week. I can’t believe that it’s already been six months since Jane also went back there, and about the same amount of time for Maiko. I do miss all of them. BK had a small party, and we played Street Fighter and Tekken in Han’s house. So far, I haven’t met anyone who has been able to beat me in Street Fighter, although I did lose in Tekken. However, I used Bear, so at least I lost with style. I completely destroyed Yuki in Smash Bros, using Peach and Donkey Kong. In that game, I’ve only lost to Asuka, who used Lucas, who is a cheap character because of the insane amount of damage his up smash does.
I finished reading Princess from Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs a couple of weeks ago. Burroughs also wrote the Tarzan novels, so his style of fantasy is interesting. I’d be lying to you if I told you that I can read Japanese. I can’t. But I feel that I can understand what happens in the plot, so this makes the novels enjoyable for me. Because of this, I usually carry two books with me at all times. One is a Japanese novel or comic, to improve my reading and understanding of Japanese. The other book is an English novel, to improve on my storytelling.
So I’ve been reading Kitchen, by Banana Yoshimoto, and I’ve also got a copy of Mona Lisa Overdrive by William Gibson. A couple of you may already know about Banana. Gibson is best known for writing Neuromancer, which marked the beginning of Cyberpunk literature, and also inspired Ghost in the Shell. Other examples of Cyberpunk stories are Robocop, Blade Runner, and Akira. I love this stuff. Blade Runner was based on Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, by Philip K. Dick. I read it about a year ago, and of course, I thought it was good. Don’t think that I enjoy every book that I read. I can’t stand Edgar Allan Poe, or Stephanie Meyer. Although I haven’t read Twilight, I heard that there are too many holes in the story, and that the characters don’t make sense. I also tried reading Harry Potter once, but the story seemed to move too fast and it didn’t make a lot of sense until I saw the movie. I bought a copy of the book the other day at a used bookstore for a dollar and fifty cents, so I’m planning on reading it soon too.
I went to court last week, for having run a red light in October. It happened just as soon as I had left the I-78. I was on my was to school, and so I passed during a yellow light. I saw a flash for a second, but I thought it was because something metallic had reflected the light into my eyes. One week later though, I get a letter by mail from the police, showing me inside of the car, smiling and flashing a peace sign. The picture was so good, it could have been used as the cover for Rolling Stones magazine. I plead guilty, and did my best to get by without having to pay the whole bill. I guess there’s only two choices. One is that you plead guilty and you do traffic school to avoid having a penalty point on your record. The other option is to take the point, but then you can do community service instead of paying, and you can also do your payment in very small monthly bills. Either way, this is an embarrassing thing for me, so I’ll avoid talking about it for now.
Yuki’s been letting me borrow his Bleach comics to read. So far I’m up to volume thirty eight. I know most of the characters now, and I’ve got an idea of what the story is, but I’ve only been paging through the books looking at the pictures. It’s kind of like when you pick up a playboy. You can understand what’s going on if you just focus on the pictures. My favorite character is Grimjaw, who reminds me a lot of Sid Vicious and Billy Idol. He’s probably going to turn into one of the good characters later, like Vegeta did in Dragonball Z, or Ikki did in Saint Seiya, or Anubis in Samurai Warriors, or the Bird from Samurai Pizza Cats, or Steve Hyuga from Captain Tsubasa, or Tenshinhan, or Yamcha, or Rei from Hokuto no Ken.

Tornado

At first, everyone in California had thought that the storm would come, and that it would rain for only a couple of days, as storms usually did. There had been a tornado warning in Carlsbad and Los Angeles, but that was about it. There was no tornado in Vista. The rain came, and the wind howled.

Many people had been unprepared when the tornado did hit San Marcos. It tore though the city, and destroyed many homes. There was nothing but a pile of rocks where Palomar College once stood.

I was working when the tornado came. We didn’t have a radio or television there, but I noticed how the clouds had begun to form strange shapes. The rain was so thick that it was impossible to see past a couple of feet. Lightning constantly struck and caused buildings to shake.

I called a couple of friends. Julian had cancelled his driving class because of the bad conditions on the road. Yuki was at his house with Youhua, and Taka was determined to drive to La Jolla to get his hair done at Tera.

There had never been such a storm in Vista. Normally during such weather, the wind blows hard enough to make trees sway, and sometimes even tears branches away. But in this weather, it was difficult to even walk. I closed the shop and decided to go to Palomar College to pick up Asuka instead. I took each step carefully. I felt as if I would be dragged away if I didn’t put my strength into every movement.

The drive there hadn’t been easy either. As I said, the rain fell so heavily that I couldn’t see too far away. When cars drove ahead of me, the water would jump from their tires and splash into my front mirror, making things worse.

There was a few accidents on the way to school. One car had gone off of the road and people were busily trying to pull it out of a muddy hole. Further ahead, a Ford pickup truck had run into a small sports car. From what I saw, it seemed as if the truck’s brakes had failed at the signal light. I had heard that that Jun had also been in an accident the day before, so I drove carefully.

The cafeteria was packed with students when I got there. That’s when I first heard of the tornado warning that had been issued for San Marcos. Even then, I didn’t think it would come, or that it would cause any damage. Instead, I ordered a cup of chocolate and I sat to talk with Rob and Aiesha. Although the weather was bad, we didn’t think much of it.

The first thing I heard was from a student to my right, who screamed “Holy shit!” I looked over my shoulder, and noticed that the big clock tower was gone. I moved over to the glass windows, just like the other students, and saw a white pillar that rose from the ground. I bent my neck to look up, but the pillar rose all the way to the clouds. The pillar consumed everything that it came across.

Many of the students panicked and ran, but there was also a couple who believed that they would be safer if they remained inside of the cafeteria. I ran as far away as I could. When I looked back, I saw how the tornado had torn the cafeteria in half. It was growing bigger.

Big pieces of hail had started falling too. I remembered that hail had fallen the day before, and I had been stung by it a couple of times. But this time it felt as if each piece that hit me was like being shot by a paintball gun. I had to look for cover, or one of these pieces of ice would have hit me hard enough on the head to knock me out.

I ran to the D section of buildings in the school. I opened one of the rooms to find Michi there, among a couple of other students. They sat huddled together, holding onto their instruments. I asked her to come with me, but then the students started playing a song together. Michi said that as a musician, it was their job to perform even during the toughest times, and that she would stay there with them. I listened to them perform Ave Maria as I made my way back to the hall. I didn’t know it would be the last time that I saw her. Later, after the storm had passed, there was a photo of Michi in an article reporting on the tornado. They had found her with the other students among the debris, still hanging tightly to their instruments. This picture came to represent the spirit of the students in the face of the disaster and became famous throughout the world.

The storm was becoming bigger and faster with every moment that passed. Now it was moving to the NS building, which it was tearing away one brick at a time.

I found Asuka in the room next to where I had met Michi. Since they’re both music students, this shouldn’t have been much of a surprise. She was hiding in a corner of the room, under a table. When she asked me if she could drive back home, I told her that it would probably be better if I led this time. Who knew if there was still a home to go to.

By the time that we had come out of the Music room, the NS building was gone. The question now was, where do we go?

Beach

I must have stood facing the beach for well over an hour. I could feel the sun beating against my back, and a bead of sweat had run down to my chin. But the waves moved gently before me. They swayed towards me before they retreated once more, and this they would do forever. As long as there is a beach, there will be waves running through it.

At the Graveyard

I lay two flowers on my dad’s grave. The purple lavender one was from me. The other flower was a white carnation that I laid down for my sister who wasn’t able to see our dad on his birthday. It’s funny, I thought to myself. Did he ever expect us to remember these things?
I looked up, and saw that the sky had already become ash gray. It would be raining soon,. And by the looks of it, it would be a heavy rain too. Once more I ran through my mind the things I would have to do throughout the day. I have to prepare a report for Nancy. I also had to call and check up on my friend Alex. Then, I’ll go out to dinner with May. I closed my eyes, and I peered into the darkness. The harder I brought myself into these thoughts, the stronger the image of my dad became.
Although he is dead, and his body has long ago perished away - turned to dust, he still lives somewhere else. It’s not really him, I tell myself. It’s only the person that I had thought he had been.

Mr. Smith at the Candy Store

On my way back home, I passed by Mr. Smith’s candy store. The sun had begun to set, and the sky was already painted a dull orange, the sun had become a burning red disc. Far away, I could see the dark silhouettes of wheat, swaying along to the gentle breeze that had drawn itself past me.
When I walked into the store, Mr. Smith poked his face through the side of the newspaper he was reading. “Johnny!” he said when he saw me. He put his paper down and rested his arms on the counter. “Don’t you have school today?
I couldn’t help myself, because it had been so easy. Smith had already drawn himself into his paper, so I took the figure, and quickly stuffed it into my backpack. “See you later Mr. Smith” I said to him as I left the store. Mr. Smith let out a surprised grunt. “Leaving already? You barely got here. Here, if you’re not gonna buy anything then let me give you some Skittles. We just got a shipment of them today, and they sell pretty slow anyways. I took the red bag from his hand.
I couldn’t stay there any longer. If I did, he would discover, and he would call my parents. I looked up and thanked Mr. Smith before I left.
I took the figure out of my backpack when I got back home. My bad feelings went away as soon as I started playing with the figure. But that feeling didn’t last long. The figure become more and more of a plastic object, and the guilt that I felt became heavier.
I couldn’t simply return the figure back to Mr. Smith like this, so I put the figure back inside it’s case, and placed him on the counter together with a letter.
“Mr. Smith, I did not pay you for this toy, but I took it when you were not looking. I really wanted it, but I don’t have enough money. Please don’t tell my mom and dad.”
I walked past the store the next day, but Mr. Smith saw me and came out. “Johnny, I want you to come here for a second. Quietly, I walked up to him. I sat in front of him for a while, in silence. “I read your letter. There isn’t much that I can do with the toy now that it’s used you know.”
I could feel my eyes getting warm. “Johnny, I know how you feel. But what you did wasn’t right. I forgive you, but you have to promise me that you won’t steal again.”
I nodded.
“Well, good. I want you to have this.” He handed me another red bag. “Now go to school.”

Hail

It’s never been this cold in Vista; or if it has, then I can’t remember. It was so cold, that once while I was walking to school, hail started to pour down, and piled up on the edges of the stairs and the curbs on the roads. I remember that I picked up a handful of hail to observe it. Each piece was small, and perfectly spherical. They were all shades of white, from opaque to translucent. If you have ever eaten dippin’ dots, that’s what the hail looked like. My only regret was not tasting the hail, although I assume that I would not have tasted like anything in particular.

If I draw my hot breath, I can see the steam come from my mouth as if I were smoking. When my hands feel cold, I cup them together and bring them closely to my mouth where I warm them with my breath. Then I rub them together, and continue typing once I feel that they are warm enough.

My used clothing’s lying all over the floor. Jeans, shirts, jackets. I turned off the heater a little while ago because it started buzzing really hard just as I was about to fall asleep for the second time this morning.