Vegetables

Few other biology students could say that they matched my level of intellect in the sciences. When I was young, I had won many contests. My dream had always been to study at the most prestigious of schools, and now here I was, unimpressed and working on my final project which I carried out in secret.
For nearly four months, I had been developing a secret fertilizer that would speed up growth in plants. Already there had been much promise of success. Within only three days, I had caused a sunflower to grow from a seed to a fully mature plant. My next creation would be sure to earn me the acclamation which I desperately craved.
I set a pot with dirt on my desk, and carefully dug a small hole into it. Then I buried a couple of pumpkin seeds into it.
There was a vial of chemical X, which I had painstakingly prepared for this day; it’s mysterious content was a glowing blue liquid.
The next morning when I walked into the lab, I saw that the pumpkin had not only matured, but it was a colossal specimen! There were bits of the ceramic pot lying crushed underneath it’s weight.
I asked my good friend, Dr. Wilson to look over the plant and collect data on it the following night.
Dr. Wilson wasn’t in the lab the next morning. I kept calling him, but he wouldn’t answer his phone.
“Wilson, are you here?” I called out in the empty room, but there was no reply.
“I ate him.” said a voice.
“Wilson, dammit that’s not funny. Where are you?”
“No really, I ate him”, and the gigantic pumpkin turned over to face me. There was a mouth stretching from side to side of it’s face. I was a little surprised by this.
“Oh. Umm, I see. You ate him?” I asked the thing.
“Yeah, I was hungry. You mean the guy that was here a little while ago? He stuck his hand down my mouth, and before he knew it - Bam!, the dude totally fell for it, man.”